The Grand Opening March Over the Brooklyn Bridge

by Frederick Opper (1883)



The LOC says:

Illustration shows a large procession crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, at the front, dressed as policeman with nightsticks, are several newspaper editors, among them are James Gordon Bennett, Oswald Ottendorfer, Whitelaw Reid, Murat Halstead, Joseph Pulitzer, Charles A. Dana, and Carl Schurz. Puck follows at center on a white horse, with a group of dandies on the right, one labeled "Freddie", and a group of "Political Tramps" on the left, including George M. Robeson, Ulysses S. Grant, Thomas C. Platt, James G. Blaine, and Roscoe Conkling. John Kelly is at the lead of the "Tammany Heelers", followed by Hubert O. Thompson with the "New York Street Cleaning Department", behind them comes "Puck's Monopoly Target Company" with Russell Sage, William H. Vanderbilt, Jay Gould, and Cyrus W. Field. On the left is a masonic group labeled "F. & A.M." carrying a goat on a pedestal. Beneath the bridge is a boat labeled "The Dynamiter" filled with angry anachrists [sic].

Lazy Curator™ sez: No real corrections* (apart from the typo at the end) to the LOC’s blurb; it’s pretty comprehensive and I’m fairly impressed (they even identified Oswald Ottendorfer correctly, something I failed to do the first time with this image).

In lieu of the usual Christmas-related image, I instead opted to post an image featuring Weekly Puck Breakout Superstar Hubert O. Thompson, also [belated] birthday boy! So enjoy, and Merry Christmas to all!

*EDIT: I take it back. I am not seeing Murat Halstead here anywhere (so I’m removing his tag. AND I am removing his favorite record from the jukebox: “It’s Raining Men”!), but I do spot an un-identified George Jones (NOT the country singer!) in between Messrs. Pulitzer and Reid.

The End of a Bad Show

by Joseph Keppler (1883)



The LOC says:

Illustration shows a scene in the "Grand National Congressional Theatre" at the conclusion of the performance of "Fair Promise Combination No. 47 - Great Reform Bill - Act I Tarif Reform - Act II Civil Service Reform - Act III Internal Revenue Reform". The audience is pelting the cast with cats, eggs, onions, turnips, and other vegetables and fruits. Among those on stage are David Davis, Thomas W. Ferry, George M. Robeson, Jay A. Hubbell, Frank Hiscock, Horace F. Page, William Mahone.

Lazy Curator™ sez: I apologize for the animal cruelty in this image. The worst since this one. Henry Bergh would not approve.

Every time I see Jay Abel Hubbell in one of these images, I keep thinking it’s going to be the last, and yet here we are.

I think the audience are all fictional personages, though it looks like it could be John P. Jones or George F. Edmunds at the far right of the frame.

Throw ’em Out!

by Joseph Keppler (1893)

What a pity this is only a fancy sketch!

The LOC says:

Print shows senators labeled "Stewart, Peffer, Vest, Jones, Teller, [and] Wolcott" thrown out of windows in a building labeled "U.S. Senate" by laborers and other citizens; papers labeled "Anti-Repeal Drivel" and 'Obstructionist Nonsense" have been thrown out with them.

Lazy Curator™ sez: You know, I pored over three versions of this image—the Google™ Books scan, the LOC scan and the copy from (birthday boy!) William Alfred Peffer’s scrapbook—to decide which one to use for this feature? And you know what? Senator Peffer’s was by far the best-preserved version of the image. The Google Books scan is somewhat clearer (and considerably less yellowed), but the Peffer version has the whole package, including the best preservation of the seam so you can see all of John P. Jones face.

Speaking of which, can someone get me in contact with Senator Jones’ tailor? I must have those pants! (He’s somewhere in Carson City, I’d imagine.)

The “Press View” at the Candidate Show

by Louis Dalrymple (1895)



Lazy Curator™ sez: Various politicians stand on display to numerous journalists clad in rolls of paper. The journalists include:

Joseph Pulitzer (World)

Charles Anderson Dana (Sun)

Whitelaw Reid (Tribune)

Henry Watterson (Courier-Journal)

[unknown] Chicago Inter-Ocean

Joseph R. Hawley (Hartford Courant)

Murat Halstead

Evan P. Howell

On display:

John James Ingalls & William Alfred Peffer (“We Two Little Candidates From Kansas Also Have Some Good Points”)

Robert E. Pattison (“A Good All Round Candidate, If He Can Get It”)

David Bennet Hill (“Well! Nominate Him and See.”)

James E. Campbell (“A Good Hustler and Hard Worker”)

William Collins Whitney (“Would Make a Handsome and Well-Dressed Candidate”)

William E. Russell (“As the Boy President Would Be a Success”)

Adlai E. Stevenson (“What’s the Matter With Adlai?”)

Levi Parsons Morton (“A Fine Old Gentleman and a Favorite of N.Y.”)

Bobby Todd Lincoln (“There Is a Good Deal in the Name.”)

William B. Allison (“Would Do, and Could Make a Good Impression in the West.”)

Thomas Brackett Reed (“Wants It, and Would Make a Lively Canvass.”)

William McKinley (“A Back-Number, but Could Be Used in an Emergency”)

Benjamin Harrison (“My Friends Say I Am Not a Candidate”)

This scan is another one from Peffer’s scrapbook. Thanks for the collection (and the fabulous beard) Senator!

Happy birthday to Robert Todd Lincoln, whose birthday was on Saturday. Not to speak ill of the dead, but Bobby trying to wear his father’s coat which is far too big for him is kind of symbolic of his entire career, alas.

Echoes From Governor Hill’s Message

by J. A. Wales (1886)

Will This Political Poll-Parrot Ever Stop Imitating President Cleveland?

The LOC says:

Illustration shows a large parrot, David B. Hill, perched on a stand next to President Cleveland's desk, filling the air with it's [sic] cry "A Public Office is a Public Trust", repeating a statement once made by Cleveland and that appears on a sign on his desk. President Cleveland is sitting at the desk with his hands over his ears.

Lazy Curator™ sez: I admit that I featured this one just so I could use the reaction image of Grover Cleveland covering his ears as a forum weapon. It’ll come in handy the next time someone tries to convince me that Tool are worth listening to.

Let the Political Army Have New Drums Also!

by Bernhard Gillam (1883)

The U.S. Army is to have new drums. In their day the old drums did good service. Now they must retire and give place to better drums.—Phila. Record.

The LOC says:

Illustration shows Ulysses S. Grant with his "Grant Boom" band comprised of Samuel J. Tilden, Lucius Q.C. Lamar, Roscoe Conkling, William W. Phelps, David Davis, James D. Cameron, John Sherman, James G. Blaine, John Kelly, Winfield Scott Hancock, William Mahone, and John Logan; most carry drums that are broken or in disrepair. Across the street, in front of the "Political Armory", Puck is operating a makeshift stand, issuing "New Drums for Old Drums"; Benjamin F. Butler kicks away his old drum labeled "Butlers Old Policies" and is getting a new drum labeled "Civil Service Reform", Brooklyn Mayor Seth Low and Grover Cleveland are trying out new drums labeled "Independence" and "Civil Service Reform"; other new drums are labeled "Tariff Reform, Political Honesty, Anti-Monopoly, Honesty, [and] For the People".

Lazy Curator™ sez: Pretty sure that’s J. Gordon Bennett and not little Walt Phelps to Conkling’s right but hey, we can’t be right all the time. Even I’ve made mistakes here (just check out the number of times I’ve edited this entry!).

Not to laugh at others’ misfortune, but I got a chuckle out of Sam Tilden’s “Forlorn Hopes” drum, followed by David Davis’ “Party of One.”

Blundering in a Perilous Position

by Bernhard Gillam (1884)



The LOC says:

Illustration shows a camel that has collasped under the weight of it's burden labeled "Amendments" and Samuel J. Randall who is riding on top; concerned travelers include John Kelly, Samuel J. Tilden, Henry Watterson, Sereno Payne, Morrison, Abram S. Hewitt, Grover Cleveland, Carlisle, Charles A. Dana, Thomas Bayard, Benjamin F. Butler, and Samuel S. Cox. Bones labeled "1880 Local Issue, 1876 Fraud, and 1872" lie in the sand nearby. A "November Simoom" is approaching in the right background. On the left, an elephant labeled "Republicans" carrying among others James G. Blaine, John A. Logan, and Roscoe Conkling, races toward an oasis.

Lazy Curator™ sez: As cool a name as Sereno Payne is, I am pretty sure that is actually Henry B. Payne depicted in this picture.

And I apologize for the condition of Grover Cleveland’s face, but even in the LOC version of this image, he looks a bit “off.”

That could be George M. Robeson waving the hanky from the back of the elephant, but don’t quote me on that.

Happy 164th birthday to the talented illustrator of this image, and many others on this feature, Bernhard Gillam.

Made Harmless at Last!

by Frederick Graetz (1884)



Lazy Curator™ sez: Image shows a declawed and defanged Tammany tiger, made to resemble John Kelly, crying and leaning over a desk. A page dangling from the desk reads:

NEWS FROM ALBANY
Power of summary
Removal Coming next
ANOTHER GRAND MASS MEETING
To-morrow Night.
Com. of Fifty.

He is surrounded by fallen claws reading “Confirming Power” and teeth, with dental pliers reading “Public Sentiment.” In the doorway, Theodore Roosevelt (bearing a pair of scissors reading “Roosevelt Bill”) stands arm-in-arm with then-Governor Grover Cleveland. A sequel image, of sorts, to this one.

Sorry to animal lovers for the disturbing imagery. Console yourself with the fact that a) it’s just metaphorical and b) John Kelly was kind of a jerk.

Put ’em on Ice!

by Bernhard Gillam (1883)

Puck’s Plan to Keep Our “Statesmen” Cool and Quiet Until Campaign Time

The LOC says:

Illustration shows Uncle Sam putting politicians, newspaper editors, and others on "Ice" in an icehouse to keep them cool until campaign time for the presidential election. Among those depicted are Ulysses S. Grant, Roscoe Conkling, James G. Blaine, Chester A. Arthur, Benjamin F. Butler, Allen G. Thurman, Samuel J. Randall, George M. Robeson, Samuel J. Tilden, David Davis, John A. Logan, George F. Edmunds, Thomas Bayard, Abram S. Hewitt, Grover Cleveland, Lucius Q.C. Lamar, Daniel W. Voorhees, William Mahone, James D. Cameron, Carl Schurz, Whitelaw Reid, James G. Bennett, John Kelly, Joseph B. Foraker setting off firecrackers attached to the tails of Uncle Sam's coat, George Hoadly, Henry Watterson, John Sherman, Thomas Hendricks, Henry Ward Beecher, and Stephen W. Dorsey trying to lite a stick of dynamite labeled "Bulldozing Threats" beneath Uncle Sam.

Lazy Curator™ sez: You know, the more I read about Senator Lamar (think King Leopold with a Southern accent), the more I’d like to go back in time and throw him against a cold, hard chunk of ice.

Favorite thing in this image, the expression on John Kelly’s face. Hilarious! Followed by Allen Thurman crying and nursing his injured hand.

In theory, my favorite thing should be Roscoe Conkling defiantly resting his feet on James Blaine’s lap, with Blaine shaking his fist angrily in kind. But, I don’t know, Blaine’s expression seems to read “I don’t mind so much,” or even “I am slightly amused by this silly predicament.”

I don’t know whether Dan Voorhees’ expression is more funny or scary. I guess he’s angry because those awful camp counselors were too busy fornicating to notice his son drowning.

Yes, I went there. No, I am not proud of it.

Nice set of buns on Steve Dorsey there.

Apartment House Delivery

by C. Young (1907)

Santa Claus (at the dumb waiter).—Smith! Second floor! Gee, this beats going down a chimney!

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