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The Grand Opening March Over the Brooklyn Bridge
by Frederick Opper (1883)
The LOC says:
Illustration shows a large procession crossing the Brooklyn Bridge, at the front, dressed as policeman with nightsticks, are several newspaper editors, among them are James Gordon Bennett, Oswald Ottendorfer, Whitelaw Reid, Murat Halstead, Joseph Pulitzer, Charles A. Dana, and Carl Schurz. Puck follows at center on a white horse, with a group of dandies on the right, one labeled "Freddie", and a group of "Political Tramps" on the left, including George M. Robeson, Ulysses S. Grant, Thomas C. Platt, James G. Blaine, and Roscoe Conkling. John Kelly is at the lead of the "Tammany Heelers", followed by Hubert O. Thompson with the "New York Street Cleaning Department", behind them comes "Puck's Monopoly Target Company" with Russell Sage, William H. Vanderbilt, Jay Gould, and Cyrus W. Field. On the left is a masonic group labeled "F. & A.M." carrying a goat on a pedestal. Beneath the bridge is a boat labeled "The Dynamiter" filled with angry anachrists [sic].
Lazy Curator™ sez: No real corrections* (apart from the typo at the end) to the LOC’s blurb; it’s pretty comprehensive and I’m fairly impressed (they even identified Oswald Ottendorfer correctly, something I failed to do the first time with this image).
In lieu of the usual Christmas-related image, I instead opted to post an image featuring Weekly Puck Breakout Superstar Hubert O. Thompson, also [belated] birthday boy! So enjoy, and Merry Christmas to all!
*EDIT: I take it back. I am not seeing Murat Halstead here anywhere (so I’m removing his tag. AND I am removing his favorite record from the jukebox: “It’s Raining Men”!), but I do spot an un-identified George Jones (NOT the country singer!) in between Messrs. Pulitzer and Reid.
We’ve Been There Ourselves
by Frederick Opper (1882)
It is all very well to talk about fearless soldiers and forlorn hopes— —but for real bravery give us the man who can find himself in the above position without flinching.
Lazy Curator™ sez: Sigh. Ending the year as we started, doing this bi-weekly thing. This has not been a banner year for this feature, I even forgot to create an index for 2019! That kind of put a damper on the whole year. Anyway, preparing the next week’s entry immediately after this one (it’s already uploaded and ready to go).
They Can’t Hold Up This Train!
by C. J. Taylor (1893)
The LOC says:
Print shows President Cleveland as a railroad engineer driving a locomotive labeled "Administration R.R." that is roaring out of a tunnel labeled "Business Depression Tunnel", and knocking out of the way legislators who are placing "Dilatory Admendments" and "Teller's Dilatory Tactics" on the tracks, trying to derail the train; among the legislators are Francis M. Cockrell, James Z. George, James L. Pugh, William A. Peffer, George G. Vest, James D. Cameron, William M. Stewart, Henry M. Teller, John P. Jones, and Edward O. Wolcott.
Lazy Curator™ sez: Celebrating George Graham “Man’s Best Friend” Vest’s birthday; in the typical backhanded Puck way.
I always love when they do “Chibi” versions of their subjects. So cute! Especially Peffer and his little bellows (and a pink bow in his beard!) and Cameron somersaulting through the air.
As It Was in the Beginning, Is Now, and Ever Shall Be
by L. M. Glackens (1907)
Lazy Curator™ sez: Sigh. Again, it’s turning into a bi-weekly feature. Expect the next one almost immediately (it’s already edited and uploaded).
The Latest Idol of the “Grand Old Party of Moral Ideas”
by Joseph Keppler (1889)
Lazy Curator™ sez: Image shows William Mahone posing on the base of a Ulysses S. Grant monument he has shoved the bust off of and carved the word “Mahoneism” onto. Various men are prostrating themselves before him, including:
I am not completely out of Thanksgiving images, but I am mostly out of good ones, so enjoy this cartoon depicting [nearly] birthday boy “Little Billy” Mahone instead.
On His Way to the Ferry
by Frederick Opper (1887)
Friend.—Where on earth are you going with that parrot, old chap?
Old Chap.—I moved over to Lonelyville, New Jersey, last week; and my wife says she must have something to talk to during the day, or she’ll die
Lazy Curator™ sez: Every two weeks I promise I’ll have this feature back on schedule, and every two weeks I wind up having to double up. Next week, definitely! [crosses fingers]
“Mugwump?”
by C. J. Taylor (1886)
The Tribulation Trio.—Who said Mugwump? There aren’t any Mugwumps! Go away! Who’s afraid?
Lazy Curator™ sez: Image shows Whitelaw Reid, Charles Anderson Dana and Joseph Pulitzer sweating and falling over one another in a panic.
Consider this a belated peace offering to Whitelaw Reid for giving him short shrift on his late October birthday a couple of weeks back. (Even if this is a sort of back-handed “tribute”)
He Thought It Was
by Louis Dalrymple (1888)
Mr. Kidby Nupop.—What in thunder is that child making such a confounded row about?
Mrs. Nupop.—I guess he’s crying for Puck’s Library No. XVII, “Is Marriage a Failure?”
Lazy Curator™ sez: Did anyone catch the bit of self-promotion in this bit? It was a little subtle, so I can understand you might have missed it.
Yet again, I owe you two this week. Should I just start calling it The Bi-Weekly Puck?
Back on the Job
by Udo J. Keppler (1906)
T. R.—Now, Sam, let’s get to work!
Sam.—Yes, Sir; thank you, Sir!
The LOC says:
Illustration shows Theodore Roosevelt arriving at the White House after a vacation at Oyster Bay; following him, carrying the luggage, is William Loeb. Uncle Sam meets them at the entrance, dressed as a 17th century French butler.
Lazy Curator™ sez: Well, I could have posted an image in honor of Whitelaw Reid, he and T. R. share a birthday, but come on! If our Teddy is celebrating a birthday, obviously it’s going to be an image featuring him! Sorry, Whitey, no hard feelings.
What We May Expect to See in the Near Future
by Frederick Opper (1882)
If the theatres must have posts in front of the seats, why don’t they fix them as above?
Lazy Curator™ sez: As a long-time patron of the cheap seats, I may assure you that this is still a problem. Many of the venues in question have not been updated since 1882, which may, in part, explain this.
Will He Cast His Sword Into the Balance?
by Bernhard Gillam (1882)
The LOC says:
Print shows John I. Mitchell labeled "Independent Reps." standing on one side of a balance scale labeled "Republican Scales" and "Penn"; he outweighs James D. Cameron who sits on the other side of the scale in a dish labeled "Bossism" and with the additional weight of "Threats, Tricks, [and] Bluster" added beneath him; Chester A. Arthur is seated behind them, holding a large sword labeled "Patronage".
Lazy Curator™ sez: I just noticed that Chester Arthur (October 5th) is a Libra! Apropos image, since his birthday was last week!
The Renewal of College Labor
by Samuel Ehrhart (1889)
Professor of Geology.—Gentlemen, at the close of the Spring term, I asked you to report to me, individually, any object of extraordinary interest you might meet in your respective outings. Mr. Corbett, you may begin.
Corbett, ’91.—Please, sir, mine had yellow hair, blue eyes, and a tailor-made suit.
Lazy Curator™ sez: I skipped last week because of *ahem!* reasons. So I owe you two this week. The next one should be up almost immediately.
The End of a Bad Show
by Joseph Keppler (1883)
The LOC says:
Illustration shows a scene in the "Grand National Congressional Theatre" at the conclusion of the performance of "Fair Promise Combination No. 47 - Great Reform Bill - Act I Tarif Reform - Act II Civil Service Reform - Act III Internal Revenue Reform". The audience is pelting the cast with cats, eggs, onions, turnips, and other vegetables and fruits. Among those on stage are David Davis, Thomas W. Ferry, George M. Robeson, Jay A. Hubbell, Frank Hiscock, Horace F. Page, William Mahone.
Lazy Curator™ sez: I apologize for the animal cruelty in this image. The worst since this one. Henry Bergh would not approve.
Every time I see Jay Abel Hubbell in one of these images, I keep thinking it’s going to be the last, and yet here we are.
I think the audience are all fictional personages, though it looks like it could be John P. Jones or George F. Edmunds at the far right of the frame.
In the Land of the Free
by J. S. Pughe (1895)
First Politician.—Who’s on the ticket?
Second Politician.—Well, there is O’Toole, O’Flannagan, Budweiser, Rosenbaum, Garibaldi, Jones—
First Politician.—What is Jones there for?
Second Politician.—To catch the American vote.
First of two this week, since I inadvertently skipped last week.
The Phynx (1970)
An Albanian dictator kidnaps a whole slew of classic Hollywood stars (as well as, for some reason, Colonel Sanders), and a super-secret spy organization called the SSA are tasked to find a way to release them. To that end, they consult a super-computer named M.O.T.H.A. (which really must be seen to be believed) to find a solution. And said solution? Form a rock band who are secretly spies, and have them become so popular they get invited to Albania. With such a foolproof plan, how can they possibly lose?
Obviously, this was someone’s (and by “someone,” I really mean Warner Bros./7 Arts) attempt to cash in on the Monkees’ success. In that continuum, I’d put this somewhere in between The Fat Spy and Toomorrow (i.e.: not as much fun as the latter, yet infinitely more entertaining than the former). I felt a bit bad for the boys who portrayed The Phynx, as the album that appeared as a prop in the film never came to fruition in real life, not even as a test pressing, for reasons I’ll get into later. This despite the fact that the songs are rather enjoyable, in an “ersatz Association, with occasional detours into Lovin’ Spoonful territory” sort of way. Then again, all the music is penned by legendary rock & roll songwriting team Leiber & Stoller. The only song I’d say was especially bad was the band’s debut “hit,” “What Is Your Sign”—and I think it was supposed to be bad (Larry Hankin has a memorable appearance as their pompous record producer, “Phil Baby”). I especially felt sorry for band member Ray Chippeway, the token Native American, who was subjected to every stereotypical hack joke in the book. (Perhaps surprisingly, token black guy Lonny Stevens is treated with comparative dignity and restraint.)
This film has a reputation as a campy “counterculture cash-in” satire, but be forewarned, all of the really wacky, outrageous stuff happens in the first fourth of the film—in addition to the infamous M.O.T.H.A. and some egregiously tasteless jokes about members of the organization, there’s also the appearance of Rich Little doing a Nixon impression from behind a truly bizarre box/mask (the props department of this film must have been having more fun than anyone). The equally infamous ending features a cavalcade of cameos (resulting in some of the best/funniest lines of the film), but even before that happens, the gratuitous cameos just don’t stop. Richard Pryor, Dick Clark, James Brown, Harold Sakata, Rona Barrett, Ed Sullivan and Martha Raye all make brief appearances in the main body of the film, and there’s probably even more that I forgot. Veteran character actor Lou Antonio—who plays the secret agent tasked with training the boys—is the secret M.V.P. of this movie, giving his all in a pretty thankless role in a film with a pretty weak script.
This film has earned a degree of infamy, largely because of Warners’ treatment of it. Perhaps in reaction to the reception of Myra Breckinridge and other similar bombs, they pulled the plug on this rather swiftly; it failed to receive anything like a wide cinematic release, if any at all (there’s lots of apocryphal stories floating around about this movie and its fate), and as previously stated, its soundtrack album was never released. It did, however, leak out as a late-night TV feature on a few stations, which must have been the source of the bootleg videos that proliferated for decades before the Warner Archive finally relented and released the movie on DVD. For all that, it’s neither as bad as its reputation, nor as “so bad, it’s good” to ascend to the echelon of the likes of Skidoo. Some wacky imagery (again, largely in the beginning) and a few good comedy lines do not make up for gratuitous padding (like the seemingly endless scene in which the boys use special glasses to see through ladies’ clothing; did I mention that the sexism in this film is pretty much non-stop?), misfiring satire and lots of lame TV-level writing.
Throw ’em Out!
by Joseph Keppler (1893)
What a pity this is only a fancy sketch!
The LOC says:
Print shows senators labeled "Stewart, Peffer, Vest, Jones, Teller, [and] Wolcott" thrown out of windows in a building labeled "U.S. Senate" by laborers and other citizens; papers labeled "Anti-Repeal Drivel" and 'Obstructionist Nonsense" have been thrown out with them.
Lazy Curator™ sez: You know, I pored over three versions of this image—the Google™ Books scan, the LOC scan and the copy from (birthday boy!) William Alfred Peffer’s scrapbook—to decide which one to use for this feature? And you know what? Senator Peffer’s was by far the best-preserved version of the image. The Google Books scan is somewhat clearer (and considerably less yellowed), but the Peffer version has the whole package, including the best preservation of the seam so you can see all of John P. Jones face.
Speaking of which, can someone get me in contact with Senator Jones’ tailor? I must have those pants! (He’s somewhere in Carson City, I’d imagine.)
A Jungle Treat
by L. M. Glackens (1904)
Posted without comment.
Fighting for the New Fare
by C. J. Taylor (1886)
Various personages dressed as coachmen accost a middle-aged matron wearing a bonnet marked “Labor Party.” The carriages are marked Blainiac Line (which seems to have a broken wheel), Hill Accommodation Line (Goes Anywhere), Sun Line and Water Line. Depicted are:
That Girl in Wonderland (1973)
Ann Marie (Marlo Thomas) goes to the Wonder Children’s Book Publishing office to interview for what she thinks is a secretarial position. Surprise! It’s actually an interview for assistant editor! Can Ann come up with an outline for the big Christmas season special book all while keeping up her social life with her boyfriend Donald and managing to take care of her after-hours errands?
Up until now, this is one of the few episodes of the ABC Saturday Superstar Movie that I had not seen. Surprisingly, it’s one of the better ones. Not laugh-out-loud funny (well, except for the Imagine Spot near the end when a number of different famous children’s stories collide in a four-car pile-up) but affable and gently entertaining. And I kept waiting for the moment when Ann would abandon her job to keep her loser boyfriend happy...a moment I am glad to say never happened. In retrospect I should not be surprised; after all, this was Marlo Thomas right around the time of Free to Be, You and Me. Good on them for putting forth a subtly feminist message without hammering you over the head with it (something FtBYaM was not so good at). Notable in that, at Ann’s new workplace, there is exactly one male employee (not counting the building’s window-washer!).
Also noteworthy in how it doesn’t sugar-coat the workplace; not everyone who Ann works with is nice! Her boss, while not evil, is definitely demanding and pushy. The office’s switchboard operator, on the other hand, is a b**** on wheels! She seems to take great delight in trying to get Ann fired and ruin her relationship with Donald, for seemingly no other reason than pure spite. On an unrelated note (I guess), it looks like they used Penny Marshall for the character model.
Like most of the SSM episodes, this was pretty clearly meant as the pilot to a series, which alas never came to fruition. I finally saw it when someone posted the whole thing (with vintage 1973 commercials! Ah, the memories!) to Youtube. Unfortunately, it’s in dreadful quality, with tons of artifacting, and it looks as though it were upscaled from 352×240 (or less!). I guess we have to take rarities like this when we can. Made by Rankin-Bass, and it looks it (if you remember the ’Twas the Night Before Christmas special, this has a very similar look).
